ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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