So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
