she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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