Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
