plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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