so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
