do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
