I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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