I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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