Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
