you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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