Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's blow job season.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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