so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
