This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
