You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
