he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
