im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
