Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
