??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
vagina is talking i cant
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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