it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
