Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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