i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i drank out of a bidet.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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