your thong is hanging out like whoa
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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