Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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