apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
