By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
