Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
