Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
