Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
