so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
