Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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