so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
