my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
