His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
