Say something about gay babies.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
