Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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