Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
