there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
