Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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