as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
