Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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