Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
