I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
