he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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