Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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