A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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