sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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