Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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