she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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