hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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