I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
